Going on a ‘Me Date’ and learning to enjoy time alone

 

Going on a Me Date

I’ve always been somewhat of an introvert and am partial to a quiet night at home, tucked under a blanket with a good book or my latest crochet project. I just love spending time on my own and always find my own entertainment – however (until recently) there is always one constraint – it has to be within the safety of my own home.  It might sound silly to some, but for me the thought of going out alone to a restaurant or the theatre just gave me the heebie-jeebies, thoughts such as ‘what if I feel awkward‘ ‘what if people look at me‘ would cross my mind so I’ve just never even thought of it as an option.

Spending time with friends is always fun, but this isn’t always practical. The older I get, the harder it is to pin my friends down – with Vee now working shifts and most of my friends having families of their own, it’s not always possible to plan a friend-date – as much as I’d like to.

I realised I was missing out on what I actually wanted to do and always putting others first instead of my own desires. If there was a new restaurant in town I wanted to try, or a movie I want to see, I would always ask around until I found someone to go with me so I didn’t feel like I was going out alone. Of course, this wouldn’t always happen to I would end up missing out….. or, sometimes going somewhere completely different all together. Doh.

So, I have decided to make a change. I have finally grabbed the bull by the horns and taken matters into my own hands. I don’t want to sit at home feeling sad as I’m missing out, why should I have to wait for other people? I’m going to do it anyway! 

selfie

When you are on your own, only a selfie will do!

My first lone venture out was when I was in Cardiff a few weeks ago. I was feeling down and just generally stressed out about life and not sure what to do. I had never been to Cardiff before so as I wandered around I spotted my favourite restaurant Wahaca. Suddenly, the craving for Mexican food was overwhelming. My immediate thoughts were “I wish Vee was here, we could go to Wahaca”. As I turned away from the bright lights idea of a Mexican feast I made a mental note “We must come back to Cardiff and go to Wahaca… one day” and then I literally stopped in my tracks.

Why am I waiting for someone else? Why can’t I go now?” I turned on the spot and without thinking walked quickly through the doors and asked for a table for one. As the waitress came to my table and took my order, I thought…. I’ve got this far, I think I’ll go one step further… and even though it was only 11:45am, I ordered a Mojito too.

Going-on-a-me-date

It turns out my Welsh Wahaca experience was completely liberating. Something so simple ended up being quite a game-changer. I sat there for hours – I had time to think, I enjoyed my food and it felt like the pace of life slowed down just that bit more than usual. I took a book with me and read a few chapters as I sipped my mojitos without worrying about a thing. It turns out I didn’t feel any of the things I had worried about –  I didn’t once feel uncomfortable, or like other people were looking at me thinking ‘look at that poor girl, what a loner’. Actually it was nothing like that, they were probably jealous – time to myself, a good book and a cocktail! What more would you want?

I’ve since then rebranded my time alone as a ‘Me Date‘ and it’s become quite an addiction. I’ve been working out where else I want to take ‘myself’ on a date. The rules of my ‘Me Dates’ are that I can have all my favourite foods, all my favourite drinks and do anything I want to do. It is a totally selfish few hours where I make the decisions and completely disconnect from the world. That also includes time off looking at social media, checking emails or thinking about work. Bliss!

Some of my latest ‘Me Date’ ideas include:

Going to the cinema – I went to see ‘How to be Single’ on my own this week – I’m not single, but this sort of self-discovery movie was perfect for a me-date! I’m glad I went on my own as I cried……. at an advert. (cringe)

Going to my favourite restaurant – My plan is to visit Food For Friends soon and have all my favourite dishes!

Visit a Museum 

Visit a local festival – In Brighton there is always something going on such as the Foodies Festival or the Fringe Festival – these are perfect for some me-time to immerse myself in something different, try some new foods, watch a cheesy play, you never know what might come up!

Take a Class – I want to start Yoga and Meditation classes, these would be perfect for my Me-Date sessions.

Visit a Spa – the ultimate luxury. A Me-Date pamper day is a must.

What are your thoughts on spending time alone? Do you like the idea of going on a Me Date?

Going on a 'Me-Date' and learning to enjoy time alone

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29 Comments

  1. Laura
    10 March, 2016 / 10:15 pm

    I love the idea of a ‘me date’ I spend far too much time staring at a screen when I’m home alone. You’ve totally inspired me! Thank you!

    X

    p.s Don’t worry, I cry at adverts all the time!

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:44 pm

      I’m pleased to have helped! Let me know how you get on! 🙂 xx

  2. 10 March, 2016 / 9:16 pm

    I really like this! I used to love my own company – and I still do but have got so used to spending time with my partner that I suppose that’s the new ‘norm’ for me. We were recently talking about booking a holiday but it turned out we didn’t want the same things out of a holiday. I immediately thought oh I can’t go now then. Then thought, hang on a minute, why should I let our differences rule what I can do? I have now booked the holiday – on my own rather than with a friend – but I’d hope now I’ll think twice when he doesn’t want to do the same thing as me.

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:55 pm

      Awesome, good for you for doing your own thing! Where you off to? xx

      • 16 March, 2016 / 9:18 am

        Just realised a typo above – I meant I’m going with a friend, not completely on my own!! But we’re going to Menorca. I’m not sure I’d have the balls to go abroad on my own, but I’d definitely consider a UK break alone. xx

        • Lyndsay
          Author
          2 April, 2016 / 11:32 am

          Well, thats still fab that you chose to do what you want to do! 🙂 Have a lovely time xx

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:43 pm

      Aaah sounds just perfect! xx

  3. 11 March, 2016 / 9:34 am

    I loved reading this! This is something I need to be able to do too. Like you I love a good evening to my self on the sofa, but I need to transfer that to taking myself out and about. There are a few new food places in Brighton I want to try and I’d love to go to a film alone for the first time. The idea of a me spa day also sounds like bliss!

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:42 pm

      You should try it, you might be surprised as to how much you enjoy it! Which food places did you want to try? I’m always on the lookout for new places in Brighton xx

  4. 11 March, 2016 / 11:03 am

    A me date sounds interesting. I usually go out with friends or with my husband and spend alone time only at home. Maybe I should try a me-date. 🙂

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:40 pm

      You should try it, you might be surprised! xx

  5. 11 March, 2016 / 1:11 pm

    Good on you Lyndsay! I love going out to eat by myself as I get to concentrate on the food solely and i prefer to shop alone too haha. There’always a time for social gatherings, but time by yourself is so precious! 🙂

    Lucy
    http://www.lucylovestoeat.com

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:40 pm

      Thats a good point, I often don’t think too much about the food, especially when there is wine involved 😉 xx

  6. MsMistry
    13 March, 2016 / 1:39 pm

    Brilliant post! I’m very similar to you in the sense that I feel very uncomfortable going out and doing things alone. The thought of dining alone terrifies me but I was recently on business in Tel Aviv on my own and had to push myself out of my comfort zone. It was scary at first but then I got used to it. I’ve been to the cinema on my own and it was great! I’d like to take a yoga class next but really quite scared of the idea – maybe I’ll start with a meditation class on my own first and build up to yoga?

    Thanks for sharing!

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:37 pm

      i was just the same, once you do it a few times you realise it’s not too bad! What was Tel Aviv like? I went to Israel last year and really enjoyed it.

      Yoga is on my list of me-dates to-do! xx

  7. 13 March, 2016 / 3:10 pm

    YES to alll of this, I think ‘me’ time and doing things you want to do are SO important, so go you 🙂

    Sophie x

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:32 pm

      Loving the me-dates! 🙂 xx

  8. Beach Hut Cook
    15 March, 2016 / 11:58 am

    I recently had a spa day all by myself and so many of my friends asked why didn’t I invite them. Well, I wanted to indulge in … nothing just me. Doing what I wanted and not having to talk to anyone or go with their wants and needs. Does that sound odd? I didn’t think so. In fact I just loved it. As someone who is always giving and doing, it was hugely indulgent. Form time to time, I’m doing just as you’ve done. Thumbs up to Me Dates. Elinor x

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      15 March, 2016 / 3:31 pm

      aah, that sounds just perfect! I’m planning a me-date to a spa soon! 🙂 xx

  9. 15 March, 2016 / 10:11 pm

    You are so right! I always sit around until someone is available. I always thought about just going out on my own but I guess I never really thought about actually doing it hahha. This is encouraging to just go out and do it, thanks!

    Stacey | http://www.thebambieyes.com

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      2 April, 2016 / 11:33 am

      Do it! It’s really liberating. Let me know how you get on 🙂 xx

  10. 17 March, 2016 / 7:28 am

    Yes! Love this. I travel for work a lot by myself and have discovered the joy of dining alone with just my book for company! Good for you, hope you continue to love “me date” times! 🙂 B x

    • Lyndsay
      Author
      2 April, 2016 / 11:32 am

      It’s the best isn’t it! Think it’s time for my next ‘me-date’ actually 🙂 xx

  11. Amy Scott
    6 April, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    I too am an introvert and I’ve never thought about it too much but I am the exact same! I only deem ‘me time’ as ‘home time’. Time to take myself on a date!

  12. 8 April, 2016 / 1:49 pm

    This is really interesting. I’m an introvert too but I’ve always done things outside by myself too. I remember at first it felt strange but then I started to look forward to the me-time as well. I find it’s quite liberating, as you said, and it also means that I’ve learned to enjoy being out by myself as much as I love curling up with a good book on my own too!

  13. Lp
    30 October, 2016 / 10:59 pm

    I love that women feel comfortable and confident about themselves to go out there and have fun alone. It has never bothered me what people think. Many of these days bring me the best memories.

  14. Ashwin
    8 April, 2017 / 11:46 am

    awesome dear. Keep posting. Would like to know more ideas for me-dates

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