Pregnancy #2: Our 20 week update

Wow, how are we HALFWAY already?! This pregnancy is just racing by at the speed of light. I can’t believe that in just 18 weeks (I’m 22 weeks as I write this) I’ll be meeting our little baby and having those magical first moments together. I cannot WAIT! It’s weird, with Violet’s pregnancy I concentrated so much on pregnancy and birth, I think I forgot about what it’ll be like with a newborn at the end of it – this time it’s all I can think about and it’s getting SO EXCITING now. Can’t wait for that newborn smell and the cuddles!

So, here is how we have been since my last pregnancy update at 12 weeks…


I am feeling overall just fine! I don’t want to speak too soon, but this pregnancy seems to be going by in a breeze. As my bump gets a bit bigger I’m feeling heavier and moving about isn’t as easy, but nothing I can’t manage. I think keeping active with Violet has kept all of those aches and pains away, plus taken my mind off everything. I’ve also been enjoying Waterbumps classes which have helped me gain some chill-out time and do some light exercise too.

I do get a little bit of lower back pain, especially on my working days when I sit down for long periods of time and I’ve also getting carpal tunnel in my hands at night, which I got with Violet too. It’s really annoying, I wake up with my hands totally numb, especially frustrating this time as often I’ll have woken as Violet wants something and I have to flap my hands for ages to bring back the sensation before I can help.

I’m not sleeping particularly well, yet I can’t blame all of that on pregnancy as we seemed to have got into a routine of co-sleeping with Violet every night so it could be either. Violet’s nursery is upstairs to our bedroom so it’s a long way to go in the night when she wakes, having her next to me is much easier. Sometimes I lay awake at night and can feel Violet’s little feet twitching and kicking in her sleep and the new baby swirling round in my tummy – I don’t mind at all, it’s such a lovely feeling to think they are sleeping side-by-side and they don’t even know it yet!


As I reached the second half of my pregnancy, I am beginning to feel the inevitable nervousness about the birth. We all know Violet’s birth was somewhat traumatic, so now the countdown is on I’ve been thinking a lot about my birth options. I really want a positive experience this time. I weighed up the options of having a home birth and almost convinced myself I wanted to go ahead, but got cold feet for a few reasons:

  • Firstly, we are moving house (waiting on the house sale, so hopefully May!) I am not sure how settled I’ll be in the new place plus the organising of the birthing pool and equipment as well as moving is a lot to take on.
  • Secondly when Violet was born she had meconium in my waters, her heart rate dipped dangerously low and after birth she was put into a resuscitator machine – if any of these things happened during a home birth, I’d never forgive myself for not being around the right medical equipment. We have decided it’s best to be at the hospital to be on the safe side for the new baby.
  • Lastly, the organisation of where Violet and Robbie will go is too difficult too – at least if we leave the house, we can just get a babysitter to look after them both! I wouldn’t like them to be around me as I’d just worry about them and lose focus.

I’ve come to the conclusion my ideal birth would be a natural water birth at the hospital, which is what I wanted the first time so I’m determined it’s going to happen! I’m looking into hiring a doula to help me this time though. They are quite pricey but I think to have that person by my side through it all who can help me with breathing techniques and keep me calm will be worth their weight in gold. I’ll keep you updated on this one!

Lastly on the birth plans – I had a surprise phone call this week as my midwife referred me (in January!) to a specialist birth trauma midwife for a counselling session – I never thought it was going to happen but I’ve got an appointment next week, so I am hoping that may release some of my fears and put my mind at rest too.

I am also starting to wonder what life will be like with two babies and whether I’ll be able to give them enough of my attention. I can’t imagine dividing my attention from Violet, it’s a bit of a strange feeling so I’ve been trying to have as much quality one-to-one time with Violet as possible whilst I still can. We have recently set up a reading area in her nursery, with super comfy duck-egg blue chair from this range of wingback chairs so we can do stories, play with toys and we have fallen asleep together here many times too!


We have had our 20 week scan and everything was just perfect – she is DEFINITELY still a girl, we’ve had three different people check (I was so convinced I was having a boy!) so it just goes to show all the pregnancy wives tales about gender mean nothing! We had to go back for a rescan as first time round baby was facing round  the wrong way round first time, but a second look meant they could complete all the checks and all was good. The sonographer said she’s a ‘perfectly average size baby with a big fat tum, which is what we like’. Cute!

So, that was our 20 week update! The countdown for the second half is officially on! 

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  • Aww! The idea of Violet and her baby sister sleeping side by side already made my heart melt! I am so in awe of you coping so amazingly with going back to work and everything emotional that entails, as well as looking after Violet and being pregnant all at the same time – I am sure that you will cope just as brilliantly when the baby is born. xx

  • I found my second pregnancy went so much quicker than my first! I’m glad you have got an appointment with a birth trauma midwife. I had a traumatic birth with my first and it’s only since having my second I’ve realised how much it has affected me and I wish I’d asked for some kind of counselling. I also agree old qovws tales mean nothimg – I was convinced our second was a girl, but he’s very much a boy!

  • Oh what a gorgeous update and how exciting. It sounds like you are starting to get everything in place and if right now having violet sleeping with you works, then so be it. You’ll work it all out 😁

  • I love the idea of ‘Waterbumps’ classes. We are trying for a baby at the moment and I have serious bump envy right now. Those clothes you have picked up are so cute. I’m glad to hear your pregnancy is going really well at the moment. My biggest worries about having another baby is divided attention too, but I’m one of many brothers and sisters and my Mum somehow did it really well. I never felt I missed out on attention and I was the middle child. I’m sure you’ll work out a good balance. Don’t worry. 🙂 xx

  • Ahh I love this, what a gorgeous bump you have too! It sounds like you have lots of things in place and are getting organised, the next few months will fly by!

  • My first delivery was traumatic but my second was absolutely amazing! They were 17 years apart too ,I only had gas and air the second time I gave birth and it was such a positive experience. X