They say every pregnancy is different, but I’ve been astounded this time to how different it really is! Part of that is down to my physical symptoms being totally different (so much so, we called the baby a boy for the first 16 weeks!) but my lifestyle is totally different now too. Instead of pregnancy being all-consuming as it was the first time, this one has just had to slot in to our busy lives and I’ve just had to get on with it! Even when I’m feeling utterly exhausted, life just doesn’t stop. So, here are the things they DON’T tell you the second time around…..
You often FORGET you are pregnant: Often days will go by where I don’t even think about it at all, however now she is nearly fully-cooked and kicking me (HARD), it’s a bit trickier to forget!
Time flies by so fast: It feels like only last minute I did that positive pregnancy test, now my hospital bag is packed – WHERE DID THE TIME GO?
You need to bust out the maternity clothes ASAP: They say you show quicker the second time and they were not wrong. I think I had a bump almost immediately! Luckily I’d kept a few spare maternity bits in the back of my cupboards for slouchy days and big meals out, so I got those out immediately.
You’ll need your maternity bra more than ever! With Violet I only swapped into maternity bras towards the end, but this time I needed them within the first few weeks. No one told me my boobs would be even more uncomfortable and sore than the first time! I expected it to be the other way around as I’d done it all before. I just wanted to ditch any wires or padding and opt for something uber comfy straight away. For the second time I’ve chosen Bravado bras as they are great right through pregnancy and are suitable for nursing too!
You’ll be so disorganised and unprepared: The first time I had meticulous lists of what the baby would need and a hospital bag checklist, this time we’ve got a few bits out the loft, most of which is still in bags and boxes, piled in a completely unpainted, junk room – I can hardly call it a nursery. We haven’t even bought nappies or put together the Snuzpod yet. Hope she is not early!
But you will be relaxed: During Violet’s pregnancy I googled a LOT, every little niggle I’d write down and ask the midwife. This time, I’ve stepped away from forums, google and even asking the midwife as I have so much more faith in my body. I know that it knows what to do and all of those pregnancy niggles, aches or pains are all normal.
You get way less appointments: And the appointments are much shorter too! I was amazed I didn’t see a midwife from 16-28 weeks, that felt like a LONG time, but baby was fine. When I eventually did have an appointment it was just a quick checkup and I was sent on my way again, they don’t interfere too much with second time mums!
Second babies move around and kick so much more: I’m often screaming ‘OUCH!’ and jumping in the middle of the night. This little baby has got a feisty kick on her and has been swirling round and round like a washing machine in my tummy since I have been able to feel her. I constantly question her position and will have to have a scan before birth to check she’s still head down. Violet was always in the right position but apparently second babies have more room to move and don’t engage until later – I can definitely vouch for this!
Your pelvic floor is no longer your friend: Enough said, wave goodbye to a loyal friend, she was pretty annoyed the first pregnancy, but in the second one she’s had enough and cleared off for good! Better be nice to her after the baby if you ever want to go trampolining again!
You learn to pick toys off the floor with your feet pretty quickly: Forget putting your feet up this pregnancy, this time they have a use. They are excellent for picking up crayons, lego bricks, dummies when the floor just seems way too far away…
You become a pro at setting up toddler activities that involve sitting down: I’ve been scouring Pinterest for ‘toddler sensory’ activities and if it holds Violet’s attention and involves sitting down, I give it a go! I’ve also learned to keep the door of the room I’m in closed so I can see Violet at all times without having to keep getting up.
You forget your ‘pregnancy admin’: Rubbing oil into your stretch marks, checking pregnancy apps, working out which vegetable/animal your baby is the same size as… it all goes out the window this time, I think this time I’ve managed once a week and thats being generous! Don’t even talk to me about perineal massage either!
You’ll be much more excited to meet the new baby: This one is hard to explain, it wasn’t that I wasn’t excited about meeting Violet, I just didn’t know what that feeling would be like, it just seemed surreal! Now I know what I’m in for, I can’t wait for that amazing, life changing moment once again and it’ll be what gets me through the birth for sure!?
Those of you who have had second pregnancies (or more!) You’ve now bought two (or more) new humans into the world. You have even more excuses to treat yourself than before! Whether you feel empowered to treat yourself to a spa day, some cellulite treatment, or a slice of delicious chocolate cake at the end of a busy day of motherhood – go for it! You deserve it.