Tackling divorce and separation from your partner can be difficult enough, but if you share a child, the situation can become far more complicated. Any negativity between you and your partner can have untold consequences on your child, potentially damaging their long-term mental and physical health.
To avoid this, it’s important you both understand how best to tackle your separation, as this can help you prioritise your child’s well-being, especially if you need to manage co-parenting responsibilities.
Start with reassurance
Perhaps one of the most important things to start with is reassuring your child. Normalise the experience for them, by explaining that sometimes divorce and separation happen between couples, and that it doesn’t affect their relationship with the child.
It may be important to further reassure your child that the divorce isn’t their fault. Many children can blame themselves, believing the relationship’s breakdown is their fault. By discussing and explaining the separation to them, you can help your child understand that they’re not to blame.
By remaining civil to your partner throughout the process, especially in front of your child, you can help them retain some sense of normalcy while they struggle to manage this significant change.
Communication is everything
While this can be difficult, for the sake of your child it’s important you and your partner communicate respectfully and without conflict. This is especially important when breaking the news to your child, and it should be done together if possible.
If there does need to be conflict, you must do this away from the child. Watching their parents fight can put them through extreme emotional stress, and it is likely to damage their relationship with both parents.
Create a co-parenting plan
Perhaps one of the most important things you can do for your child is develop a structured, co-parenting plan. Your child is already going through a difficult time, but this can be minimised if they understand when they’ll see their parents.
If communication is difficult, then you may want to rely on tools or apps, such as online calendars. Using a separate platform can make it easier for divorced parents to coordinate custody, while also retaining flexibility.
As your child grows and their needs continuously evolve, they’re likely to need greater flexibility to help manage their changing lifestyle. By working together to provide the maximum amount of support possible, you can ensure that your child still feels loved and respected by both parents, giving them a good foundation for success in life.
When one parent isn’t cooperative
Of course, this all relies on a cooperative effort from both parents. If one is intentionally being difficult, this can cause issues for the child and especially to their self-esteem. In some cases, it might even be necessary to pursue legal support. Legal involvement may help your partner understand the gravity of the situation.
